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along a pantheon of Hindu deities in Karnataka, India. |
From the Files of Fortean Slips
by D. Trull
Enigma Editor
dtrull@parascope.com
For an increasing number of people, Elvis is not just the King -- he's also the Lord. Frightening though it may be, the Presley story has all the makings of a full-fledged religion:
A man of humble origins arises to captivate the world with his precious gifts and teachings, while his enemies castigate him as a dangerous revolutionary; after spending his time in the wilderness, enduring the travails of ordinary mortal men, he returns in a triumphant comeback special; his earthly life is ended under hideous circumstances, but many maintain that he is not truly dead at all. And it is these faithful, these meta-fans who dedicate their lives to the King with a righteous and selfless fervor, who could very well enable Elvisism to one day take its place among the established religions of the world.
There are already churches of Elvis springing up in the United States. At one, a state-licensed minister of Elvis conducts weddings, uniting the blessed couples in the name of the father Vernon, and of the mother Gladys, and of the son. His consecrated garb for the ceremony: a sequined white jumpsuit, gold medallions and shades, thank you... thank you very much.
Such worshipful excesses may not come as a tremendous shock when manifested in the truck stops and trailer parks of America, sacred land of the King's redneck birth. Heck, Southern folk practically canonized Elvis back before he shot his first TV set, even. But the rest of the world is catching up, faster than you can fry a peanut butter and banana sandwich.
CNN reports that a picture of Elvis hangs in a temple in Karnataka, India, holding a place of honor alongside the pantheon of Hindu deities. Those who pray at the temple worship Presley just as they do the more orthodox gods in his company.
A man who lives in an adjoining building is evidently responsible for Elvis's introduction in the temple. A devout Presley follower, he last year distributed a booklet represented as the word of Elvis, called "Why My Daughter Married Michael Jackson." A sequel is presumably in the works.
CNN did not indicate whether the picture was of the velvet variety so favored among American Elvisists. We are also left to speculate whether these Hindus selected the young, skinny Elvis or the fat Vegas version.
Hey, if a dead, cheesy science-fiction writer's upstart religion can take Hollywood and the bestseller list by storm (and to the cleaners), just imagine the messianic potential of a man who sold over two billion hit records and transmogrified the American cultural landscape forever.
For those who still believe that Elvis worship is nothing but a passing fad, consider this statistic: at the rate of growth in the number of Elvis impersonators that has occurred from 1977 to the present, in sixteen years one out of every four people on the planet will be Elvis.
Elvis has ascended the building.
(c) Copyright 1996 ParaScope, Inc.
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