The Bra of Nostradamus Yes, ladies, there is now special lingerie custom-designed for the End Times. This stylish new garment alerts you of the impending end of the world while it gently lifts and separates. Aliens Chewing the Fat? A crass advertising campaign has cast EBE's and the obese as mortal enemies, kicking off intergalactic hostilities of hefty proportions. Birth Race 2000 Thousands of prospective parents are deliberately scheduling their reproductive activities in hopes of conceiving "millenium babies" who will be born on January 1, 2000. XXX-Ray Camera Peeping Toms everywhere are taking advantage of an "undocumented feature" in the new Sony NightShot camcorders: the ability to videotape through clothing! Halloween Saturday Night Massacre It's neither a trick nor a treat: The Farmers' Almanac has launched a baffling crusade to move Halloween from All Hallow's Eve to the last Saturday of October. Simple Cyborg Cybernetics professor Kevin Warwick had a computer chip implanted in his body to become "the world's first cyborg." But Steve Austin he ain't! Black Magic & White Collar Crime A West African millionaire living in Florida used black magic to embezzle $240 million -- and for his next trick, he made himself disappear! Burnt by Burnt Offerings A Florida woman with evil spirits in her house and plenty of dough in the bank fell prey to an exorcism scam that sent $200,000 up in smoke. Rockin' the Pyramids Were the Egyptian pyramids built with acoustic levitation technology? One of the more bizarre theories behind these feats of human engineering. Beauty Queen Sacrifice Miss South Africa's plans to celebrate her crown by slaughtering a goat and a few oxen. Mastodon Park Scientists search for DNA to resurrect prehistoric animals, and Steven Spielberg is not involved. The Earth Mover A plan to save the world from doom, by slingshoting the whole planet from solar orbit into deep space. New Age Witch Hunt A Spiritualist official gets thrown out of her church on dubious charges of witchcraft. The Lard Bullet Excessive cholesterol slowly kills you, but pork-filled ammunition gets the job done a whole lot quicker. The Moon Is Mine What do you call a man who claims his family has owned the moon for over 200 years? A lunatic! The Telepathic Terrier Do dogs have the psychic ability to sense when their masters are on their way home? A Really Light Lunch Here's a diet plan guaranteed to cause weight loss: Don't eat, just absorb nourishing rays of light! The Psychic Horse A performing horse that appears to exhibit amazing equine telepathy. The Real Frankenstein Meet Dr. Dippel, the original mad scientist who sought to create a living monster. Saddam's Clones Does everyone's favorite wacky Iraqi really intend to concoct a genetic dictator replicator? Trek Addiction Beam me to the Betty Ford Center, Scotty -- Star Trek can cause clinical dependence.