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approved the intestine- wrenching Olestra fat substitute has upgraded acupuncture to Class 2 medical status. |
From the Files of Fortean Slips
by D. Trull
Enigma Editor
dtrull@parascope.com
There are precious few things that you can count on the U.S. government for, but one of them would have to be an everlasting denial of anything remotely paranormal being true. Some call it a lack of evidence, others a massive coverup. Whether Area 51 is filled with alien spacecraft guarded by armies of psychic Bigfoots and fleets of magic-crystal-powered black helicopters or not, only one thing is certain: Washington ain't talking.
Or so it's always been. The tide may be turning in our nation's capital, because recently the government quietly granted recognition to something many consider a supernatural phenomenon:
Acupuncture.
"Acupuncture?" you may ask. "What's so paranormal about that?" While it's true that thousands of satisfied customers have sworn by this practice for centuries, the merits of acupuncture are considered dubious by much of the scientific community.
Traditional acupuncture is based on balancing the body's flowing forces of yin and yang, a principle which medical science of course does not corroborate. Many scientists believe that perceived benefits from the treatment stem entirely from a placebo effect, although there are signs that acupuncture may act as a physiological analgesic. One theory states that needles stuck in the skin engage the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems to cause a localized lessening of pain. But this is only a theory -- and even assuming it to be true, acupuncture would only be effective in controlling pain, not as a cure for a given ailment.
Nevertheless, on March 29, 1996, the Food and Drug Administration bestowed the Class 2 status of "medical tools" to acupuncture needles. These instruments were previously listed under Class 3, or "experimental devices." This change of classification means that needles used for acupuncture will be subject to FDA approval to ensure quality control and "single use only" labeling, and it could make the treatment eligible for coverage under insurance policies which exclude alternative medicine.
Most significantly, the FDA ruling indicates that acupuncture is a safe and effective medical treatment.
Among the voices raised in opposition to the FDA's decision is that of "Amazing" skeptic James Randi. "This quaint quackery has largely fallen out of favor in recent years, following its heyday a decade ago, when clinics devoted to making human pincushions were found on alternate street-corners," Randi noted in his electronic newsletter, The Randi Hotline. "As disillusionment set in and the clients discovered it just didn't work, even the glamour associated with using this Chinese superstition didn't offset the failure. Now the Congress has validated the classification of acupuncture needles as 'medical devices,' and the quacks will be back in business in no time."
Hmm... Could this be a New Age dawning in Washington? As we edge toward the year 2000, will our government get with the millennial zeitgeist and dispense with its rejection of the hyperreal? After all, this is the same FDA which back in January endorsed some major science fiction, when they pronounced olestra, Procter & Gamble's intestine-wrenching fat substitute, to be safe for human consumption. Who knows what could be next?
Let's keep our fingers crossed for full disclosure on Roswell in a joint press conference by the U.S. and Pleiadean presidents broadcast live from Atlantis.
(c) Copyright 1996 ParaScope, Inc.
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